Self-control.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Assalamualaikum wbt.
Love your husband. Obey him as much as you could. Talk with the lowest voice and sound like an angel to him. Dress like a princess and be a dear to him in every way possible. It is the most beautiful thing in marriage one could ever experience. There is absolutely no point in dressing up in front of ajnabi after you are married. Dress and impress your husband, your marriage is إن شاء لله as happy as الله gives.
Why this topic all of sudden? Because I have been seeing women especially working women dress up to nines when they are going out but they put the least effort at home with their husbands. In return, their husband tend to either flirt with other women or request to marry a younger, dressier version of their wives. The point is to avoid fitnah to the husbands as well.
I have been working at National Kidney Foundation (NKF) as an intern student for almost a month now. My station is at the Public Education and my job is a counsellor So our PED job is to go out everyday and do free health screening services. We record their blood pressure, BMI, urinalysis, blood glucose & total blood cholesterol. This includes taking waist measurements for males as well (yes, uncomfortable right?) I noticed young males were extremely giddy when they saw a girl will take their waist measurements (Don't worry, I wear gloves & long sleeves all the way.) They do have to fill in some forms regarding marital status and personal matter beforehand.
So when I received these young males' forms, I was extremely sad & frustrated. They are married. Yet they still have the nerve to sweet talk & flirt with other ladies (me included eventhough I wear my stone wedding ring on my right hand). Yesterday in particular, I thought I wanted to wear my favourite pants but when I thought about all the virtual unneeded attention I will be receiving, I changed to long, maxi skirts. Just because I do not need men gaze & gawk at me.
I was puzzled. Why do they flirt? Aren't they happily married ? They are still young. They should be happily married. One conclusion I came up was, both of them did not reach/feel/gain what they should from marriage. Their behaviour reflects on their wives as well. As there is an ayah from the Al-Qur'an :
I was puzzled. Why do they flirt? Aren't they happily married ? They are still young. They should be happily married. One conclusion I came up was, both of them did not reach/feel/gain what they should from marriage. Their behaviour reflects on their wives as well. As there is an ayah from the Al-Qur'an :
هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ
“They are libas (i.e. body cover, screen, dress) for you and you are the same for them.”
(Aayah No. 187, Surah Al-Baqarah, Chapter No. 2, Holy Qur’an)
What I could conclude from this ayah is, whatever their husbands have been doing to men, their wives have been doing the same. Allah knows best. Maybe some of them are good wives but the lack were in their husbands but Allah knows best. I need to have a strong, solid self-control in my field work. Granted some of the are very good-looking & soft-spoken. But they are death to me. Allah please guide me.
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