بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Assalamualaikum wbt.
My road to marriage.
Many has asked, why did you want to get married so young ? And while both of you are still studying ? Why indeed. Not only uncles & aunties doubted my decision. But my lecturer as well. I still remember one of my lecturer, he was a Biostatistics lecturer said (when I handed him my wedding invitation face to face) , " Both of you are still studying ? Who will feed you then ? " That was a real smack. On my brain. Until now. Friends doubted my decision. Being a friend, I announced my wedding invitation via FB (seems the easiest way to invite people these days). I invited hundreds and hundreds of them. Well, we both did. I thought being friends, most of them would congratulate & be happy for you. Marriage is a big decision. Plus the condition I was currently undergoing. What I didn't know, how wrong my thoughts were. Most of them did congratulate me, الحمد لله. But a number of them did not. And they talked behind my back but in front of me. They were having a group conversation on Twitter mind you.
It started with one person single minded tweet regarding what marriage would become if both of the married do not have any income. I still remember. It has been imprinted. Fresh in my head. Although it happened more than a year ago.
" Alaa, their parents are rich. Surely they could support their child. "
" Getting married, if you don't have a job, if you don't have any money, better you didn't. Bad move. "
" Are you only thinking about getting married ? How about things beyond marriage ? Ever give a thought on that ? "
" They themselves couldn't afford to buy their own groceries, when you are married, are you always going to eat take out ? "
" Yes, granted your parents can afford your wedding ceremony, but you still want your parents to afford your marriage ? Not enough requirements yet… "
" You can't afford to save money for your own ceremony, what guarantee can you give you can afford your marriage later ? "
Dear friends, have you all forgotten this ayah ? Or you have never encounter it before ?
Surat Fatir [35:3]
O mankind, remember the favor of Allah upon you. Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you from the heaven and earth? There is no deity except Him, so how are you deluded?
Why do I quote this ayah from the Holy Qur'an ? I remembered my friends who said those words have a lot of courtesy from Allah SWT. Yet they failed to see. They still manage to gawk & back lash those they deemed not fit to receive Allah SWT blessings. I am puzzled whether I should list all of the courtesy they received. It is the same as revealing the 'aib of other people? Would Allah SWT cover my 'aib later ? أستغفر الله
Some of them studied overseas. And aces every exam they had. Some of them had a loving, caring family with wealth. Some of them works at large, multidimensional organizations. Some of them managed to afford their own car & house only after several months of working.
Allah SWT has promised each individual will receive their own courtesy from Allah SWT in various forms. Mine is getting married early & I have non-judgemental parents who are willing to support me all way until I finished my studies and have a job. When I first spoke to my parents about wanting to get married, they supported me right away. الحمد لله. This is Allah SWT courtesy to me. To make it easy on my road to marriage. HE also give me wonderful friends that helped me a lot through my wedding & marriage. We still are best friends & I can't wait for them to tie the knot soon. ^^
Allah SWT has provided us with the most beautiful things in our lives. Why must we tarnish it ? HE had promised our own blessings, how could we turn away from HIM and say bad things about it ? I am verily still affected by those words. In fact, whenever I see their faces, I still remember what they said to me more than a year ago. That is how deep the scar is.
However, the bright side of my marriage, my mother-in-law is not an overall healthy person. So yeah, we do takeaways every day ^^ My husband is a great man. He corrects & strengthens my tajweed. And now I can verse better when reading Qur'an الحمد لله. Yes, money-wise, we are still holding on to our parents. But Allah SWT is The Greatest. We did not even once have absolutely no money left. Always Allah SWT is so courteous by giving enough to survive. We do expect difficulties later in life.
Allah SWT has provided us with the most beautiful things in our lives. Why must we tarnish it ? HE had promised our own blessings, how could we turn away from HIM and say bad things about it ? I am verily still affected by those words. In fact, whenever I see their faces, I still remember what they said to me more than a year ago. That is how deep the scar is.
However, the bright side of my marriage, my mother-in-law is not an overall healthy person. So yeah, we do takeaways every day ^^ My husband is a great man. He corrects & strengthens my tajweed. And now I can verse better when reading Qur'an الحمد لله. Yes, money-wise, we are still holding on to our parents. But Allah SWT is The Greatest. We did not even once have absolutely no money left. Always Allah SWT is so courteous by giving enough to survive. We do expect difficulties later in life.
As Allah SWT says in Surah Al-Ankabut [29:2-3]
Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars.
Both of us surely did not take things for granted. We are managing & surviving marriage on our own. Decisions are made only in this household of two. Do we not expect hurdles later in life ? Yes we do. But we can do it إن شاء الله . Allah SWT will guide us & help us through.
It's a long post. Forgive me if I ever offend anyone reading this. I am a human & I am filled with flaws. I do not intend to hurt anyone with my writing. All the good things come from Allah SWT. All the bad things come from me.
JazakAllahu Khayr.
1 comments
Oh wow. a great one there. Wrote it beautifully. May ALLAH bless you. Always.
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