Enlighten.: 2014

December 08, 2014 No comments

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Again, this topic. I saw this everywhere these days. Be it on Facebook, on Instagram, on Twitter. There are mixed messages sent by numerous amount of people. Be it bashing, supporting or from their own experiences.

Some say that marriage avoids so many things rather than just zinah. It covers your eyes, your heart, your aurah, your speech, everything. I couldn't agree more.

Some say how on earth are you going to get married ? What will happen if your wife is pregnant ? You are young, jobless/still studying, how are you going to feed her ? Your child ? Are you still going to latch on to your parents ? They have done so much for you and still you want to ask for more ? I couldn't help but agree to this as well.

Some say parents declined their children's desire to get married young because they see things we don't know. They brought us up, they know how capable we are if we are to get married. I agree to this too.

Speaking from my own experience, after marriage I am turning into someone sane. I began to see how much my parents sacrifices for me. I love them even more now. I was young back then, but I get married young as well. 22. Who get married at 22 ? Seriously, who does ? Will you get marry if you know your soon-to-be husband is jobless, still studying, assuming he will finish his study, would you in the right mind marry him ? Given by what the world is offering us these days, luxury in various forms - shoes, bags, gadgets, travel, are you sure your husband is going to give you all that if you married young ? You think, decide what you want & reflect. If you still wanted all those things, no you are not ready to get married.

In terms of income, Allah SWT is always around. There are always rizq in places you would not expect. Alhamdulillah, I don't know how many times I mentioned this, but I never went a day without food after marriage. Alhamdulillah for many other things that has been happening to me. See, the thing is, marriage open thousand doors of sustenance. It could be wealth, health, baby, family, education, anything. You just have to believe in Allah SWT. Believe in Him as birds flee their home in the morning on empty stomach and return with full ones. Alhamdulillah, I'm in the UK, I do not ask for a single penny from my parents or my parents in law. Alhamdulillah, He helped me a lot. Maybe there is a reason why we are not yet blessed with a child. Allah SWT knows. He know what ever is happening and going to happen. He blessed us with other things. I'm not even sad or mad, I'm blessed. Even though loads of my friends whom just got married last year or this year are having babies, I'm happy for them.

Allah SWT promised us He will bless us with unlimited sustenance if you commit something in His name & He really does. Even if you use your parents' money after marriage, Allah SWT plan it so. He give you sustenance He promised through your parents. So you will appreciate & love them even more.

So don't worry if you are thinking what will happen after marriage. Cause He will give a way. He'll give you opportunities to work part time maybe, or even give you a wonderful spouse that is content with whatever you have right now. You never know. Allah SWT work in a way our mind could not grasp.

Regarding your parents, yes they do see through you. If you portray a responsible character, they might let you. I have been and always been an independent girl. Both my parents said so. They know how well you will get on with your life, they will let you. If you are reckless, irresponsible, not paying attention, selfish, how would they think of you? They would be terrified to allow you for marriage. Cause you well know what happen inside a marriage. You would have to put other people on top of yourself. So, reflect yourself & rethink your parents' decision. It's for your best.

There are pros & cons of getting married young. But it depends on your level of maturity how to handle it. Young marriage is not easy, but maturity does not come with older age. The most confident thing you could do is tawakkal to Allah SWT and intensify your doa. He will help you InsyaAllah.

December 05, 2014 No comments

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum wbt.

My husband gave a link to me regarding something which I found is very interesting. Malaysia is the region's fattest country. It came as no surprise but the stats did surprise me. 45% males are obese & 1/2 females are obese. That is so scary. This article made me want to work out even more right now. I was contemplating to go out for a run. However after reading this, yes running is a must.

Malaysia is The Southeast Asia's Fattest Country

By : The Malaysian Insider

Malaysia is Southeast Asia's fattest country, where a nationwide foodie culture is feeding mounting concern over what its health minister calls "an obesity epidemic."

"We are the most obese nation in Southeast Asia, and Malaysians are becoming more obese," Health Minister Datuk Seri S. Subramaniam told AFP, warning of a "crisis in unhealthy behaviour."

Nearly 45% of Malaysian men and almost half of women are overweight or obese, according to a 2013 study by UK medical journal Lancet, compared to global rates of around 30%.

A recent report by consultants McKinsey Global Institution found obesity now costs the global economy US$2 trillion (RM6.7 trillion) in healthcare and lost productivity, or 2.8% of global GDP, just US$100 billion (RM334 billion) less than both smoking and armed conflict. The study warned almost half of the world's adult population will be overweight or obese by 2030 and called for a "coordinated response" from governments, retailers and food and drink manufacturers.

In Malaysia, childhood obesity rates also are climbing, from less than 10% a decade ago to nearly 14% in 2008, according to the most recent figures, saddling health systems with a new generation of diabetes, hypertension and other obesity-related illnesses

Already, some 2.6 million adults have diabetes, a figure authorities expect to spike to 4.5 million in 2020. Malaysia has a population of around 29 million.

Lim, 40, who weighs 173 kg, has diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension and joint pains from lugging his bulk around.

"All I knew was that eating made me happy. I was a couch potato, watching DVDs, and my weight rose," Lim said as he huffs through his now-regular workouts in a Kuala Lumpur fitness centre.

Malaysia is a victim of its own success, with decades of economic advancement bringing the flip-side health issues that developing countries often encounter when hunger is defeated, incomes rise, and lifestyles become more sedentary.

A key factor is the national love for Malaysia's delicious but rich fare: spicy curries made with fattening coconut milk, carb-heavy rice dishes, and sugary drinks like teh tarik, a frothy tea with sweetened condensed milk.

The breaking of bread is of vital social and cultural importance in each of multi-racial Malaysia's main ethnic groups and is enthusiastically embraced.

Open-air food stalls are a fixture in every neighbourhood, often open 24 hours and full of late-diners, a major health no-no, according to doctors.

Fast food giants McDonald's and KFC also do a roaring business, and Malaysians are among the world's top per-capita sugar consumers.

Compounding the issue, languid, tropical Malaysia has historically lacked a strong tradition of active outdoor leisure pursuits, due in part to the sweltering weather, Islamic modesty, and shortage of public spaces for exercise.

Subramaniam, the health minister, said the problem eventually "will affect productivity and impact our economic development."

Over the past year, the government has ramped up public-awareness campaigns and mass street-exercise activities. Subsidies that kept prices of sugar and cooking oil low have been reduced in recent years, for joint budgetary and health reasons.

Fitness chains, a relatively undeveloped industry in Malaysia, now report growing numbers of health-conscious members.

"At least three out of 10 people who sign up at our gym do it because of illnesses, including obesity and heart-related illness," said Elaine Yap, marketing manager with fitness chain Jatomi, which has four outlets.

Experts say more official action is needed.

Mohamad Ismail Noor, president of the Malaysian Association for the Study of Obesity, backs emerging calls to ban 24-hour food outlets, cut sugar content in beverages, further reduce sugar and cooking oil subsidies, and build more parks.

"We need to take stern action. The government has to put its foot down and say 24-hour outlets are not healthy. Obesity is the mother of all diseases," he said.

Old habits die hard. A study of nearly 1,700 seriously ill diabetics released last week found that more than three out of four shrugged off doctor's advice on changing their lifestyles, Malaysian media reported.

The study also reportedly found that diabetes-related eye complications in such patients increased from 35% in 2008 to 49% in 2013, while kidney complications rose six percentage points to 42%.

Wong Siew Hong, a 170-kg diabetic automotive mechanic, is trying.

Barely able to bend down to pick up his tools, he is trying a range of weight-loss products, but can't kick his love of oily Malaysian noodle dishes and is ready to throw in the towel.

"When I walk, I feel like I am a tank. I am too heavy," said the father of two."At home I just eat and sit on the sofa." – AFP, November 27, 2014.

- See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/malaysia-is-southeast-asias-fattest-country#sthash.29s8bRb2.dpuf

November 30, 2014 No comments

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November 16, 2014 2 comments

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum wbt.

While I am perfectly happy & content with my husband, I do sometimes feel he is getting under my skin, in everything he does. Sometimes I feel what ever he does, is wrong & I do feel annoyed. You shouldn't feel that way in marriage right ? These always happen when we met & stayed together for a longer period. I do feel bad after my temper. I do apologise to him after.

After several cycles of getting mad & apologising, I realised, there is something wrong with me. I sort to find out what it is. And I do found the answers now.

I realised, when we met, we are too happy & too content. We do our 5-a-day prayers. But that was it. We didn't wake up for early morning prayers like we do when we were staying apart, we didn't read the holy Quran after each prayer. We were too busy, cuddling with ourselves. I found an explanation of why marriage tend to crumble apart after a while. We were too busy, we forgot Allah SWT is The One granting us spouses. We forgot to please Him, in turn, He make us can't please each other.

This citation from this blog is my wake up call. I will improve myself insyaAllah. We will improvise together. InsyaAllah.

By: ciibroadcasting.com

Source : Performance of Salaah : The Marital Bliss Barometer | Cii Broadcasting

Over the years, counsellors and therapists have developed a range of techniques to diagnose problematic marriages.

“Are you to the point that your spouse just can’t do anything right, does everything they do get under your skin? Does everything lead to an argument? Would you rather be anywhere than with your spouse? Are thoughts of divorce running through your mind on a regular basis?”

These are just some from a series of questions professionals would typically ask troubled spouses to get the ball rolling towards marital healing, reconciliation or justice.

For Muslims in such compromising marital situations however, as important as these questions undoubtedly are, one matter of diagnosis would still be deemed weightier.

“Is the couple performing their Salaah?”

Speaking to Cii Radio’s Ulama in Focus recently, Sheikh Mukhtar Raban of Port Elizabeth said this was the default starting point Ulama in his organisation used when handling matters of marital conflict amongst Muslims.

“Before you are going to complain about your spouse and how he or she is such a terrible individual, we first ask: ‘Are you obeying Allah SWT? How regular are you on your Salaah? If we find there is a spiritual deficiency and you are not pleasing Allah SWT, then we take you back to the very basis of marriage,” the Aalim said.

He explained that couples should understand that Allah SWT will only bestow Mawaddah(intense love) and Rahmah(eternal mercy) on the couple that pleases him. In cases of marital turbulence, Raban urged reflection on the Ayaat contained in the Nikaah Khutbah.

“These verses quoted in the Nikaah Khutbah are there strategically to remind us of the importance of Taqwa(Allah Consciousness) in our marriages. We need to firstly please Allah SWT to receive this understanding and live this romance and fairytale life with our partners. If we are not – if we have cut Allah off and are disobeying him – and we are trying to find happiness in this creation of Allah, then we will be beset with troubles. The food won’t taste good, the spouse won’t appear attractive..Suddenly, all these become mountains in your eyes. But if you worship Allah SWT, He will bestow such love between you that all such trivial matters will be taken for what they are.”

Stemming from the Quraanic parable that spouses should be garments for one another, and the Hadeeth that anoints every individual as a shepherd over those whom they have been endowed with responsibility, Ulama say spouses should be well-wishers for each-other’s spirituality. They should advise each other on proper observance of Islamic tenets and do Ta’leem regularly to learn the Deen together. It is also recommended for them to occasionally pray together.

Regarding the Tahajjud Salaah, Sayyidina Abu Hurairah RA quoted the Prophet (SAW) as saying:

“May Allah bless the man who gets up during the night to pray and wakes up his wife and who, if she refuses to get up, sprinkles water on her face. And may Allah bless the woman who gets up during the night to pray and wakes up her husband and who, if he refuses, sprinkles water on his face.” (Ahmad)

As has been commonly advised: A couple who prays and plays together, will (Insha Allah) stay together.

“Sometimes when we get married, ” concludes Raban, “we are so overwhelmed with our partners, we forget that it is Allah SWT who granted us this partner. So have a connection with Allah SWT, and then everything else will fall into place.”

November 14, 2014 No comments

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Sheffield is definitely getting colder by the minute. Today is colder than yesterday. Yesterday was colder colder than the day before. We have not seen any sun for two days now. All the sunny vibe there were last week seem to diminished by the second. Winter is approaching near. Pray to Allah I will get through it.

So many countries had I visited courtesy of Allah. If He did not allow me to, I wouldn't have set foot in all of the countries. I have met many strangers in the foreign land. Strangers but familiar. By which I mean, they are Malaysians. The rush I feel when ever I see a Malaysian in the foreign land is inexplicable. I am happy, jolted, and consumed. But to my disguise, some Malaysians wish not to be seen. By people. Especially by Malaysians. I had, several times make a fool of myself. Giving salaam but only to receive silent reply. They swift by without turning to smile or even gaze. But I know they saw me from afar. Malaysians, are very distinguishable in the foreign land. With the square hijab, the size, skin colour. We are distinguishable.

However, I do feel sad & rejected by my own familiar faces in the foreign land. Why do they wish people do not see them ? We are in a foreign land, surrounded by so many familiar faces. But when I do meet them outside, I feel more foreign than ever. I was not greeted by my own people. In fact some of them do tend to escape. Be it physical path or eye contact. I am puzzled. Are we not supposed to talk to each other? We are after all thousands of mile away from home & family. I wish to have a family here too. I wish to be welcomed here too. Nonetheless, not all were like that.

Some of them are so good, they were the ones giving salaam to me. They were competing for hasanaat. I was jealous that I was not quick enough to be the one initiated salaam. Reward for them InsyaAllah.

I found a video for everyone to watch & listen. I hope when you travel or even in our own country, do give salaam. You might unexpectedly be surprised how peace you'll become after. You are doing the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad SAW. How come you are not peace & happy after that? I hope I myself will give salaam for every familiar strange faces I see. After all, we are strangers in a foreign land. Foreign land of dunya.

November 08, 2014 No comments

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October 21, 2014 No comments

September 30, 2014 2 comments

September 12, 2014 1 comments

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August 31, 2014 No comments

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum wbt.

I love to bloghop. I just love reading blog. One blog I have been following for quite a while is One Chinese Muslimah. She is a Chinese revert who has been practicing Islam better than any born Muslims I know. On her recent post she published, it came from a Christian sister named Joanna Francis. What she wrote, blew me away. She wrote beautifully depicting how American women are objectified & bombarded by their own country's scheme in order to lead them astray. Astray from the social norms.

I tried to comment on One Chinese Muslimah's page to gain her permission in order to republish her post. I couldn't leave a comment even though I tried several times. So here I am, citing her page & Joanna's page. So here what Joanna wrote on her blog.

To My Muslim Sisters – By Joanna Francis

joannafrancis wordpress com

By Joanna Francis
Writer, Journalist – USA

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist "war on terror," the Muslimworld is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness. Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

Through Temptation

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.

Self-Value

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the "pearl of great value" spoken of in

the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you" (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you. The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since y
our men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too!

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.

A Woman’s Heart

I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears. Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.

Self-Denial

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated. We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your "toothpaste" carefully!
I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister – with love…

I hope us Muslim girls, wake up. Please wake up from reality. Even their (Americans) own women are not happy with the objectification, why we have to follow religiously ? Even they are jealous of us, Muslim women. Don't throw your beauty away please, we are more valuable than we acknowledge. The sooner you wake up, the better.

Jazakillah Khayr.

August 29, 2014 No comments

August 27, 2014 No comments

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Fitness.

The topic that almost all of us dread & try not to talk about. But all of us girls are not happy with our own weight. Be it overweight or underweight. We would find or create something to blame for our weight. Genetics, hormones, work or lack of time. I too, dread everytime the word Fitness occurred People would turn to me for help, advices or ways to be healthy it's uncountable. Given that my bachelor is in Clinical Nutrition, people would thought I am fit or at least eating healthy by a manual. Guess what, I am not. Not even close. Until 7 months ago.

All 24 years of living this life blessed by Allah SWT. I was never really happy with body shape. Too thin at the top but thick at the bottom. Unbalance. I would try to hide behind layers and layers of clothes. Not that I am implying that a muslimah shouldn't hide behind layers, but my case was low self esteem. Whenever I gained weight, I would buy bigger clothes to fit. One day, it hit me. Why couldn't I take care of my own body ? It is the utmost, precious gift from Allah SWT. It is the most complex and unique life mechanism created by The Almighty. I couldn't let this precious gift wasted. I wouldn't.

In February 2014, slowly I tried to insert at least 20 minutes of jogging every alternate days. I looked up more cardio session videos on Youtube. By the beginning of March, I have already on 8 minutes mark for every kilometre of running. It was a huge success for me. When I first started running, my pace was 12 minutes per kilometre. It is as fast as walking could be. My internship then was literally busy all day and weekends. However, I do not give up. I force myself up early every morning on day offs & work out. I force myself everyday after working hours until I'm out of breath. By April, I lost 3 kgs. The weight was 58kgs before my fitness journey. In two months, my weight was 55kgs.

Throughout April & beginning of May, I focus more on watching what I ate. Literally cutting all the sugary drinks & eat as much greens and coloured plants as many as I could. During those months, my running pace was already at 5 minutes per kilometre mark. It was the best achievement I have ever felt in a long time. In just one and half months, I lost another 2 kgs and that made my weight 53kgs at the time. It was normal for my height. Finally my BMI is normal. After years of neglecting exercise, avoiding the term fitness, I finally caved in.

In middle of May, I flew to Egypt. The proudest man alive on the planet was my husband. At the time he was so proud of what I have achieved. I am proud. To make my husband utterly happy & speechless with my transformation, I couldn't describe.

However, my two and half months in Egypt has caused me to relapse. I gained another 3 kgs with bunch of cellulite at lower half of my body.

I cried.

Yes, I literally cried when I weighed myself. All those hard work, sweats, time, energy, money spent seemed wasted.

Then, it's Eid time. Boy, I was so determined to gain what I have once achieved, I even refused my mom's legendary chicken rendang with the awesome-possum ketupat daun palas. Not. I ate but in moderation. Unlike those days where I used to stuff myself with good food in previous Eids, this Eid was different. Shawwal has not ended but I already started training.

This was three weeks ago. I started running again. Phew, felt like my body was tied to several barrels & my breath was escaping me faster than light escaping dusk. But I was determined. Strict diets, strict work out regimes, no cheats & no off days. Everyday it would be either a 4km run or 400 sit ups. Ok, 400 sit ups are exaggerating. But running is a must. After running session, I would force myself to perform body-weight training such as jumping rope, squats, chair dips, sit ups & push ups. Crunches, Russian twists and other several exercises were among the training I did. No excuses.

Sometime, weather beats me. I would retract to doing cardio. But I pushed myself further this time. I did 20-30 minutes cardio while holding weights. Dumbbells to be precise. When my arm has started to kill me, I would switch to resistance band. Again, no excuses. Come what may, I would work out even it was already 12 am.

After three weeks of crazy workouts, I am proud to say, I shed 2 kgs. And my battle is still ongoing.

Perseverance & effort. If you are willing to change, nothing should stop you. Our body are the most beautiful creation of Allah SWT. Why ruin it ? To get started is so hard, believe me. Nevertheless, once you are on the track, it'll be part of your life that you couldn't leave.

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